Living Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover, Steve, when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry!" she said: "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered: "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly: "The Martins bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said about the statue -- not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around 2 a.m., the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the statue: "Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Henderson’s for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

Yet Another Civilization is Doomed

An educator friend of mine forwarded me this gem via email.

How would you pronounce this student’s name: “Le-a”?

Leah? NO
Lee – A? NOPE
Lay – a? NO WAY
Lei? Guess Again.

It’s pronounced “Ledasha.” Oh, yes, you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. If you see something come across
your desk like this, please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “The dash don’t be silent.”